Confessions of a...

Cool Change, some floor work and running away, the week 9 post from the Carr family is in the books.

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Floor
Many who visit our home for the first time comment on our floor and how great it looks. Although I have told the story of the installation to some who comment, I have never shared the full truth with the world. First of all, 95% of or floor space is covered in the same laminate from “Torlys” called “Chocolate Wenge”. We fell in love with the dark colour, and forgetting for a moment that we have a white dog, are still absolutely in love with it. I think the thing we love the most is the feeling of pride that comes from knowing that it was our own hands that laid each piece. Now, we had a whole bunch of hands helping, and although we had our share of setbacks during the installation, it looks great but still to this day every time I walk down the stairs, I look at the same piece.

We started in the dining room, at the foot of our stairs, worked our way across the sitting area, then over the living room and then back through the kitchen to meet back up with the starting point. All sounded simple enough but what we found was that when we made it back around to the starting point, the pieces where out almost a half of an inch. I tried to make a custom cut, and just glue the piece in, but ended up wasting a couple of planks trying to make it work. The only solution, was to lift up a large section of the dining room floor, the same part of the floor that we had all ready pulled up and re-laid once before. But that’s what we did. Nathalie and I, late one evening in the middle of the renovating, pulled up and re-did the floor so that the two halves would meet. I have always been a big believer in “if it is worth doing, it is worth doing right” and as I walk over that seam, I am sure glad I remembered that and we did that extra work.

Cool Change
The other week, I talked about me actually teaching something to my little sister Janey. Well this week it was me who was the student, and her the teacher. You see, when she was here 3 or 4 weeks ago, we got talking music, and I was giving her some of my files for her collection, and she asked if I had “Cool Change” by the Little River Band. I did not, but quickly logged into iTunes and downloaded it so that I could share it with her. Jump to this week, on a bus ride in complete shuffle mode on my phone and a song that comes on that I do not recognize.

Time for
a cool change…
I know that it’s time
for a cool change
Now that my life
is so pre-arranged
I know that it’s time
for a cool change

I love it! The discovery of a great song, with a life type lesson in the form of a harmonic melody and hauntingly fitting lyrics, wrapped up in a dose of music appreciation, all from my little sister. Thanks Janey!

Running away
Nathalie and I, for the last 3 or 4 years, have been big fans of alone time. Without a doubt, we love our kids and enjoy our family time, but the trick keeping those times filled with love and fun, is to recharge with just us time. This weekend, for the first time it what seems like a couple of months, we called in a team of sitters, and left for Niagara Falls. Now, we are on a budget, so shopping online in advance was the key, and Nathalie found the deal of the century – $97 for two nights at a newly renovated, “two star” Days Inn close to the falls. So far, it is clean and aside from the 2 spiders, the tap that will not shut off and the light that you have to hit to turn on, all is good. We hope to stop off in the US for a quick trip to Target, and maybe lunch, but other then that, it is nice not to have plans.

In closing
This week another story from the car, kind of a Carr family story time in the car (if that makes any sense). This week after dropping Nathalie off to do some much-needed clothes shopping, the girls and I started talking about my blog. They have known about it since it started, and have often made reference to situation happening in and around our life as “great ideas” for the blog, but they have never read it. So this week was the first time I started reading them parts of it out loud and they loved it. They each laughed at the correct parts, and begged me to keep reading when I would stop and all was well, until I read the part about Julia being a Diva a couple of weeks back. She crossed her arms in front of her, and made a “hrmph” sound and said with her diva-like attitude, “That is not funny!” She did agree that that was what she said and how she said it. Thanks Julia, for proving once again: if it quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it must be a duck — and there is nothing wrong with being a duck!

Thanks for reading and have a great and safe week!
Jim

Having dreams, a big surprise and caring a little more, the turkey induced, giving thanks Week 8 Carr blog.

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Dreams
When I was younger, other then the normal wanting a family and good health, I had three things I wanted to do in my life. I wanted to write a hit song, I wanted to write a book and I wanted to be in a movie. The funny thing about time and wishes is that they have an odd way of affecting each other and in some cases adapting and morphing into other dreams. Now, I still want to be in a movie one day, but my other wishes are a little more realistic. For a syndicated radio show project I was writing and producing a couple of years ago, I was I was able to write a song, and have it recorded and although the process was simple enough, the song and the project never got passed the demo stage. However, being easy to please I did check it off my original list (Yes, I know I said I wanted a HIT song, but in my head it was one!).

Since starting my blog more then a year and a half ago, I have had many regular readers suggest to me that I should write a book. I always smile and remember that childhood dream, and say, “Maybe one day”. I have gone as far as to think about what kind of book I would write and have some ideas, but in thinking about it, have more questions than answers. Could I commit to something like that? I hate writing dialogue; so I know it would not be fiction but other then a self-help or motivational type, what does that leave? I was talking to Nathalie about it the other week, and she said, “Seinfeld was about nothing, why could it not just be your random thoughts?” She might be on to something!

Thanks
This week started with a day off from work, so that we may be able to give thanks. Thanksgiving has a different meaning for everyone I am sure, but for us in the Carr house, it is always about acknowledging family and friends. I am sure we don’t corner the market on giving thanks to family and friends at this time of year, but speaking selfishly for a second, I have way more to be thankful for then some I know. I have a great job that I love, a comfortable lifestyle, a nice house AND most importantly, a great group of friends and family that love me unconditionally. A Lot to be VERY thankful of so THANKS!

Surprise
Saturday we hosted a surprise party for our great friend – Jeff. Nathalie and his wife Coco, had been conspiring for almost 6 weeks on the epic event, and were able to pull off a complete shocker, because he had NO clue. One of the highlights for me was the group of 6 giggling girls 11 and under waiting in the small powder room beside our front door for more then 20 minutes, so that they were able to jump out and say “surprise!” And then later that night, them all dawning swimsuits, some MacGyvered’ to fit, and splashing and laughed in our pool for more then an hour. Imagine that on the 9th of October in the POOL. Way too much fun!

Caring
I had to do it. I had to give the Dad speech about giving a shit a couple of extra times this week. Now, I give the lecture to the girls enough around the house that I am sure if they had a “Dad says way too much list”, it would be at or near the top. Maybe just below, “Why does no one listen to me?” but certainly in the top 5. This week, I had to give it to my 3rd semester students, and I am sure they appreciated my tone and perspective on this issue. So many in the class are fighting the start time, that less then half of them are in their seats by the beginning of class. A number way too high again, have been messing up the simple instructions and are missing the project deadlines, and some when they meet the deadlines, are making simple, avoidable mistakes. All the results, I think, of not giving a shit.

It got me thinking, that if there is anything in life that will hold you back from advancement, it is the whole giving a shit thing. This week, I must have stopped to pickup trash just lying around the halls at school 10 times, some within feet of a garbage can. I don’t know if it is a generational thing, or a society thing, but I think we all need to start giving a little more of a shit. This week I have tried to do it myself, and I hope that I have inspired some of my students to do the same. And as for my children, I think that are slowly getting it, but just like me sharing my little life lessons.

In closing
You all know the words, so sing along, “Down by the bay, where the watermelons grow, back to my home…” That was me in the car this week with the girls, and once again, as the lyric police, I had to step in a stop it from going off the rails. Jordyn was doing the second “round” part and driving me nuts. “Jordyn, you don’t sing that part, someone else sings it. You just sing the word one time”. My favourite part is always the end line, the rhyming part. I had to point out that it does not matter what you say, as long as the two words rhyme, because “have you ever seen a Lama, eating an apple is just not that funny.”

Thanks for reading, and have a great and safe week!
Jim

Being popular, getting dressed, instinct and an optimistic approach, the positive look at week 8 and the Carr family blog.

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Fight or Flight
Psychologists have long understood man’s primal brain and how it reacts to adverse situations. They say that when faced with a challenge, we all instinctively try to come up with the answer to a simple question; should I stay or should I go. Although I once played a doctor in a video game, I am not one, and as such have only my powers of observation to understand this. Well, my keen awareness skills and a couple of handouts from a seminar I attended, is all I had up until this week, when Nathalie and I talked about the brain. I was able to tap into her understanding of this, and an amazing thing happened. Like the preverbal light getting switched on, we began to understand the complicated dance that happens when couples begin to deal with something going on in their lives.

You see if one person is a “stay” person, and the other is a “go” person, one leaves and the other wants to stay and keep talking about it. If you have two “runners” you have a hard time talking about things to resolution, and of course if you have two “fighters” it can get messy. That I understood, but here is the revelation. If you have a stay person, and a go person, but the go person, forces them self to stay and talk, it goes against a core reaction, and adds added stress and tension to the situation. So, are you a fight or flight person? Understanding the answer to this question may in fact help you resolve conflict a little easier, possibly if you stay with your core.

Girls!
Two stories this week from Nathalie and the girls’ worth posting.

I was working late Wednesday night, and after homework, and the stuff that goes with our little Carr family routine, Nathalie overheard an in depth conversation about popularity. Both girls where talking about the popular kids in their class, and both agreed that they are not on the list and that begged the question from Nathalie, “what is it that you think makes someone popular?” The girls, conversed a little, and decided that it was how many people know you in the school. That is a fair assumption and so Nathalie asked, “Do you really think lots of students know this girl?” and they both say, “No”. Well that blows that assumption, and then Julia pipes in, “Jordyn but you have way more friends then she does, so you must be popular” Glad that you know what we have already thought since the day you were born.

I forgot to add this story to my blog last week, so this seems like a great time to post it and it might not come as a surprise to some. Julia has a slight diva streak, and I love when it peeks out, especially when I am not around. While deciding what to wear one morning, she asks Nathalie, “Mama, can you help me pick out an outfit?” So after 5 minutes, of “What about this one?” or “what about this one?” Julia finally says, “You may go now, I know what I’m going to wear!” Wow, the art of dismissal mastered by an 8 year old. I can’t wait until the teen years!

Driving
I laughed this week, while listening to a teacher at the girl’s school, talk to me about being late for work and not recognizing anything on her drive. I laughed, because I thought I was the only one to use people I see on my commute as an indication of my punctuality. I even talked about it in one of my first blogs and I told her about it. It sure is nice to find out, even if it is a small confirmation, that I am not the only one that things odd thoughts sometimes.

In closing
For the most part, I am what one would call an optimist. My glass is normally half full, I can see the good in people when others struggle and in most cases, I am a happy go lucky individual, all things I feel associated with a healthy dose of optimism. Now I have my moments, and struggle like the best of us do, and over the last couple of weeks, admittedly have had some trouble getting back to the bright side.

After having a conversation with Jordyn’s teacher this week I think I figured out what it is that is getting me better. You see, the teacher was returning after having taken a week off because her father passed away. And when I asked how she was coping and how her kids where coping, she told me “They are the ones making us deal with it and getting us better!” and I thought bingo! She is so right, kids have such a resiliency and a way to deal with things in life by not being marred down by thinking about things the way us adults do. So my homework next week is to pay closer attention and take notes around the kids, and learn from them on crisis management. I think my glass will be full before you know it!

Thanks for reading and have a great and safe week!

Jim