Some Nice Marks, a Bus Ride and Singing a Sorry Song

Some nice marks, a bus ride and singing a sorry song, some stories and thoughts from in and around week 10 in the Carr house.


Sorry
It would seem that I have started a couple of blogs with this same little “sorry I am late” disclaimer, or a reasonable facsimile. Not sure why I feel the need to apologize for my tardiness, other than the fact I normally say I am sorry for just about anything I feel I’ve done wrong, even if I have nothing to do with the situation. Something I have always struggled with I guess. It has started to rub off on the girls, and Nathalie and I have tried to put a stop to it. Now, it is not the apologizing we want to stop necessarily. It is the “I am not even thinking about it, I better say something to stop Mom and Dad from yelling, very quick – sorry” that comes out of their mouths’ faster then you can say wtf.

So since, January, when we catch a “sorry” in this fashion, we both yell to the girls, “5 dollars!” It started simple enough, one night almost as a bit of a game, but now almost 3 months in, we have noticed an improvement. The first night was funny, with Jordyn going 15 dollars ahead of Julia very fast, and Julia gloating and walking around saying, “um, I am liking this game”. In a matter of 15 minutes, she caught up, and started to worry. In fact, when she went to bed, she wrote a letter to Nathalie, pleading for a new punishment, “Mommy, I don’t have 5 dollars, but I do have this change, and some jewelry, please take that instead”, leaving behind about 83 cents, and a couple of mismatched earrings.

I think quite often, we all fall a little victim to this, quick response and sometimes I we need a small hiccup pause before we talk, just to calculate our response a little more. When someone you meet asks, “How are you?” or your parents ask who left their garbage on the table, a split second of contemplation could allow you to be honest, and isn’t that always the best policy? This is a good lesson for life, and YES, because I started this blog with a very quick apology, without too much thought, I will now throw 5 bucks in the jar myself.

Buglia's Award

Marks
A couple of weeks ago, the pride in the house was thick enough to cut with a knife, because of some very good report cards. In my note to myself, reminding me to mention it in my blog, I simply said “marks” but the truth is that we are proud of not only the outcome, but the effort that both our girls put in this term, to warrant their good grades. Both made key improvements in important areas, and although they both still have things to work on, we are so happy with what they have achieved. Congratulations to Julia also, for receiving a “living the virtues” award at the school assembly. Keep up the good work girls!


Singing
I came to an interesting conclusion today, and it involves something we all do in the car, mostly when we are alone. I am sure I am not the only one to sing along with the radio, and even if I am the first to admit that I am unable to carry a tune, I am at some times closer to the intended notes than others. I realized that it is directly related to frame of mind. You see, over the last couple of months, I have not been at 100% with my mood. Blame the weather, and stress at work, or just this time of year, but the fact is when you struggle with these feelings, it must play with my challenging inner ear. I know I am on the road to recovery to the point that today, I belted out the best version of Bruno Mars – Just The Way You Are, I have ever done, and from my front row seat, I was hitting every note!

A Bus
This week, I got chance to say goodbye to a great recent student and a regular blog reader, as she got ready to hop on a bus, that will take her to not only a new town and a new province but a new radio job. I hope that in my goodbye chat with her, I conveyed how proud I was of her, and all that she has accomplished much of which was despite her own personal hardest critic; herself. The proof that she will succeed, and excel at this new opportunity lies in her own accomplishments to this point.

She was so positive that she would not even get into the Broadcasting program to start with, that after the orientation and what she felt was a disasterous attempt at admission test, she went home and recorded a video for her youtube channel, that included a plea to me, to disregard her test score, and just look at the fact that she has the passion it will take to succeed in the program. Here she is, a couple of years later, taking a bus more then 36 hours away with all she owns in three suitcases, ready to take on the world. Best of luck, keep in touch, and I can’t wait for my new radio station mug!

misunderstanding
One of the funniest little girl stories from the last month is one that Nathalie has shared a bunch of times, but it is still worth committing it to permanence that is the World Wide Web. To set the stage, it is morning in the Carr house, I am downstairs sorting out the daily lunches, and Nathalie, between getting herself ready and out of the house, is coaxing the girls to do the same. And by coaxing, I mean frustratingly dealing with a couple of girls that want nothing to do with the morning, let alone getting off to school.

Julia barging into the master bedroom asks Nathalie, “Mom, if you see these little white flower thingies, can you please let me know”. A confused Nathalie responds with a simple enough statement, “Julia, I don’t understand.” Julia calmly repeats herself, “this little white flower things, if you find any, just tell me”, and Nathalie again repeats, “I don’t understand?” Very frustrated now, Julia looks up at Nathalie and says, “Let me explain it slowly so you understand, IFFFFF YOOOUUU SEEE…”

In closing
One of the first times, in my blogging carrier, (if you can call it that) that I mentioned something that the girls had written, came from Julia and her positive affirmation of liking herself. I love that know matter what they hear, or see on TV that both our girls have a positive image of themselves.

Almost everyday, they bring home artwork from school, in which they draw silly pictures, and tell funny stories and cut funny shapes, and although some of it ends up being recycled, we file much of it in a box each school year labeled “school memories”. Some of it, we even take a little for granted and don’t always inspect closely when it first comes home from school.

The other night, after letting Bentley out for his final pee of the night, Nathalie paused at the dinning room table, long enough to let a piece of Julia artwork, catch her eye. It looks like she had to make a certificate, and glued to a pink piece of paper is a white piece, adorned with a squiggly lined, multi coloured boarder. The big yellow crown, and stars are nice, but it is the words that reminded me of how great are kids are. “Julia Carr, shy, creative, singing. Swimming, learning, singing. Happy as a dog. A princess.” I love you Julia!

I am happy as a dog that I finally sat down to recap the comings and going of the Carr’s.


Thanks for reading and have a great and safe week.
Jim

A Turn of the Page, Some Shoes and a Little Open Window

A turn of the page, some shoes and a little open window, stories from week 4 and the Carr Family

Open
It has been a couple of weeks (ok 4) since my last post, and I guess the start of 2011 has kind of gotten away from me a little bit. Last I remember, we had a nice New Years Eve, the kids’ went back to school, we started to work out, and BAM here we are on the 29th day of January already. So here it is, some stories and thoughts from the first 4 weeks of 2011 from the Carr family.


Calendar
So what is it that allows a simple flip of the calendar page to affect so much change in ones life? We always hear about new-years resolutions and of course I have had my share of them in the past. Most don’t work because, you for sure need to be committed but also mentally ready for the idea of a change, and quite often you are not ready as of January 1st. Over the last little bit of 2010, both Nathalie and I talked about the idea of adjusting our lifestyle a little and to start making a more concerted effort to eat better, work out and just try harder at achieving a healthier life, and so that is just what we did. We committed!

Four weeks in, and we are still going strong; in fact, we have even increased our jaunts to the gym and have been so very good with our eating, that we have both lost weight and inches. Now, this is not a reality TV show, so there will be no public weigh-ins’ or any kind of elimination, only the pride that comes from being healthier for our future. I am so proud of both Nathalie and myself for coming up with the plan and sticking to it and with our two biggest supporters living under our roof, there will be no failing with this one.

Love the smile!
Lily
In the last 5 months, we sure have had some ups and down, but if for one moment we only talk about the ups, right near the top of that list is the birth of a little flower named Lily. They say that when one door closes, a window opens and I have always been a big fan of the saying, but it is only after her birth that I can truly say that it cares major weight. Being able to share the announcement of her birth with my Mom, just before she passed, will always be a memory, and a thought that will forever link Lily with my Mom.

Last weekend, we took part in the most precious ceremony, with Lily being welcomed into God’s house at her baptism. She smiled and flirted with the priest, and did not cry once and was just the cutest little girl in her pretty little dress. She watching with her bright eyes and soaked up the surroundings and focused on the candles, and listened to the words echoing around her was a great thing to be part of. Thanks to her great parents, Jeff and Coco for not only the gift that is Lily, but also for allowing us to share in this special day.

Shoes
Do you have any old wives’ tales that play a role in your daily life? My mother-in-law has a whole bunch and as such, Nathalie has them too. Things like “Don’t leave your purse on the floor, because all your money falls out” and “Don’t ever give someone a sharp object, because it could sever your relationship, instead, you “sell” it to them for a penny. I do remember some, and try to keep them part of my routine, for the sake of piece around the house, but to be honest, I do forget. The other week, Nathalie and I were doing some mad cleaning and I got a little reminder of one of her “things” and a bit of a laugh too.

During the cleaning, I moved a shopping bag with a new pair of shoes in it, from the floor to the dinning room table. “How long have you lived with me? You DON”T put new shoes on the table Jim”, she yelled at me. I looked up, and thought, yes I remember now, “Sorry, I forgot about that”, then I moved them to the stairs, with full intention of later moving them upstairs. The first laugh came from moving to the other side of the table, only to discover the box of my new shoes on the table, all be it, on top of another box, but never the less ON the table, left by none other than Nathalie herself. Apparently, the wives tale is only for female shoes?

The second laugh came later, when Nathalie almost fell down the stairs. Now, before you say I am some kind of heartless jerk for laughing and my wife almost falling down the stairs; that was not the funny part. It was because of WHAT she tripped on in the first place, the box of shoes. So the quick thinker I am, to add insult to actual injury, I asked her, “Do you now think they are safer on the table or the stairs? I am just asking?”

In closing
I have a small handful of cute stories, from over the last 3 or 4 weeks to select from to close out the blog for today, but I think I will choose the one that is a slightly self-deprecating. For Christmas, the girls each got an iPod touch, and besides being a great thing to be able to take away from them if they are not listening, it is a fun pastime. They both have already got the hang of crawling the app store, and asking me to punch in my code so they can download games, and aside from one $2.99 app, that they “thought” was free, they have both filled of their devices with stuff.

Now, I am NOT a talented video game player. I know this. My wife knows it, and I think my kids now have an idea but, Nathalie on the other hand is very good at most games she plays, and has totally mastered the very popular Angry Birds. The girls each have it on their respective ipods, and it would seem are constantly asking her to complete this level or that. While making dinner one night, Nathalie was working on a particularly tricky level for Julia, and being the smart ass I am, I say to her, “If Mommy keeps having an issue, you better give it to a true expert, and let Daddy try”, NEVER expecting she would call me on it. While after a couple more Mommy attempts and fails, Julia pipes up, “OK Daddy, your turn”. I had to the break it to her that I was only joking and that I have no chance of passing it for her. Then Julia utters the words that will echo in my head for a long time, “Come on Dad, you can do it, BE A MAN!” in this voice right out of the movies. There you have it, a drill sergeant in the making!

I will try harder to be at least a man, who writes a re-cap of the happenings of my family every week, and I may even give the game a shot.

Thanks for reading and have a great and safe week.
Jim

A Conversation in The Car, Deep Jim and The Year That Was…

A Conversation in the car, Deep Jim and the year that was, the week 19 – year ending Carr blog is in the history book.

The Blog...

Sorry
Well, I am doing it. Doing what I hate to see myself, what episodic television does every season, when they want to cheap out on making a new show. You know, the lead characters sit around the set, and through a series of flash backs, recap all that happened in the last season in what some would call the “best of” show. Well, this is the best of Carr blog for the 2010 season.

Over the last year, I posted my weekly recap of the life and times of the Carr family 39 times. If you are doing the math in your head, that would mean that I did miss 13 weeks in there, 8 or 9 of those fell in the summer. The one difference with my little flash back blog, is I will only include a short snippet of the original post, and provide a link to the complete one so that if you wish, you can go back and read the post in its entirety. My reasoning is, that I still want to write a little bit about the old post, and not hang my whole “episode” on flashbacks or rehashing of old words.


Deep
A couple of times this last year (OK way more than a couple), I ventured into what I would call deep Jim, with some introspective bla bla about any number of topics. Starting with the first week of 2010, when I reflected on how much I had grown the last year. And by grow, I mean figuratively!

“I made my bed today. In fact, I make it everyday. Well, most days it is just figuratively me, tucking the corners and fluffing the pillows, as in the time honoured saying, but today while actually straightening the comforter on the worlds highest bed, I had an “Ah-Ha” moment.”


“Dreams – When I was younger, other then the normal wanting a family and good health, I had three things I wanted to do in my life. I wanted to write a hit song, I wanted to write a book and I wanted to be in a movie.”

In the Car
So many of the closings come from conversations in the car. I guess we do spend a fair amount of time in the vehicle, on our way from one place to another, so here are a few references from this past year with the Carrs in the car.

“So when did “Punch Buggy” get added back to the riding in the car lexicon? I don’t remember hearing it for years, but this last few weeks, I have heard chatter of the kind, coming form the back seat and then today, we broke out into a full assault, no holds bar game and Daddy got hurt!”


“Sometimes I can’t believe how great of a memory Jordyn has. Julia remembers odd things too, but Jordyn pulls the smallest things out of thin air and does it all the time. The craziest stuff! “Remember when you were wearing that white shirt and you spilled stuff on it when I was in grade 1, and you said that you would buy me something if I didn’t tell mommy” kind of stuff.”

Observational
Our girls have an amazing way of looking at things each in their own way of course, and this past year I have powered up the big spot light and highlighted situations through the eyes of my girls. I will start with Julia, because this and so many other lines she came up with this year made Nathalie and I laugh. The post was our first from the road, on our summer vacation and it came during a shopping trip in Target –

“This trip, like any of our US jaunts, involves a good amount of US barging hunting. For the most part the girls have been good, and are actually turning into quiet the fashionistas, picking interesting clothing combinations and colour choices, all off the clearance racks. We almost made it out of the last store without one “PLEASE daddy” with the puppy dog eyes for something that that they for sure don’t need.”

As for Jordyn, her observations are more drenched in sarcasm, and always delivered with impeccable timing and this post from this last November, was my favourite.

“One of the things we have to work on with Jordyn, as per her teachers request, is her taking ownership of her own work at school, so our decision to let her sort out what it is that she does and does not have due any given day, is the first step. We sometimes check up on her, and this morning when I found the two pages of incomplete math homework in her agenda, I was a little upset.”

Students
Well, yes because I am a teacher, I run into my share of students and as such, I get some of the blog content from them. In some cases, it is welcome:

“The other idea, came from a conversation I was having with a couple of students. In the talk, one of my fourth semester students admitted that she is not very good about asking for help”

And in other cases, it is a little more unwelcome:

Caring – “I had to do it. I had to give the Dad speech about giving a shit a couple of extra times this week. Now, I give the lecture to the girls enough around the house that I am sure if they had a “Dad says way too much list”, it would be at or near the top. Maybe just below, “Why does no one listen to me?” but certainly in the top 5. This week, I had to give it to my 3rd semester students, and I am sure they appreciated my tone and perspective on this issue.”

My Mom
I talked a fair amount about my Mom this past year of blogs and I loved each post, but the one that not only got the most comments, but also garnered the most readers was the post I wrote after she passed away.

“This is the blog I have written so many times in my head over the last year. I had planned the direct approach, thinking it would be better for me to say the hardest part first – My Mom has died. But even after writing it now, I still find it hard to believe and certainly not any easier to say. This day has come the long way around, with my Mom fighting far longer than anyone had thought she could or had expected her to, mainly because of the faith she had, and her sheer will.”

In closing
This week (yes a couple of days late), this post represents a true closing, the closing of the year 2010. For me, it was a year filled with high highs, and some very low lows. I emerge with a positive outlook and a strong frame of mind, to motor on and continue to try and make a difference in peoples lives. That sounds grandiose, but it is simple I think. Wake up, try hard to be a good person, help others and make an impact on those around you and when the chips are down, in the end YOU will be the better for it. Thank you for letting me take part in the year that was 2010, but I look forward to a better 2011.

In the last week of school last semester, in talking with a colleague about the past semester, I talked about that it was not my best, and that in true web fashion, I will start the next semester and year with a simple approach. I am releasing a new software version. Not that the old version was not working well, and not like the new one will not have it’s share of issues, but the new Jim 3.0 promises to be the best one yet.

Also, thanks to the girls for supporting me, making me laugh and above all for loving me for being who I am and especially thanks to my wife, best friend and blog editor, Nathalie for being the half that makes me whole.

Thanks for reading and have a great and safe week.
Jim