Being Popular, Getting Dressed, Instinct and an Optimistic Approach

Being popular, getting dressed, instinct and an optimistic approach, the positive look at week 8 and the Carr family blog.

Fight or Flight
Psychologists have long understood man’s primal brain and how it reacts to adverse situations. They say that when faced with a challenge, we all instinctively try to come up with the answer to a simple question; should I stay or should I go. Although I once played a doctor in a video game, I am not one, and as such have only my powers of observation to understand this. Well, my keen awareness skills and a couple of handouts from a seminar I attended, is all I had up until this week, when Nathalie and I talked about the brain. I was able to tap into her understanding of this, and an amazing thing happened. Like the preverbal light getting switched on, we began to understand the complicated dance that happens when couples begin to deal with something going on in their lives.

You see if one person is a “stay” person, and the other is a “go” person, one leaves and the other wants to stay and keep talking about it. If you have two “runners” you have a hard time talking about things to resolution, and of course if you have two “fighters” it can get messy. That I understood, but here is the revelation. If you have a stay person, and a go person, but the go person, forces them self to stay and talk, it goes against a core reaction, and adds added stress and tension to the situation. So, are you a fight or flight person? Understanding the answer to this question may in fact help you resolve conflict a little easier, possibly if you stay with your core.

Girls!
Two stories this week from Nathalie and the girls’ worth posting.

I was working late Wednesday night, and after homework, and the stuff that goes with our little Carr family routine, Nathalie overheard an in depth conversation about popularity. Both girls where talking about the popular kids in their class, and both agreed that they are not on the list and that begged the question from Nathalie, “what is it that you think makes someone popular?” The girls, conversed a little, and decided that it was how many people know you in the school. That is a fair assumption and so Nathalie asked, “Do you really think lots of students know this girl?” and they both say, “No”. Well that blows that assumption, and then Julia pipes in, “Jordyn but you have way more friends then she does, so you must be popular” Glad that you know what we have already thought since the day you were born.

I forgot to add this story to my blog last week, so this seems like a great time to post it and it might not come as a surprise to some. Julia has a slight diva streak, and I love when it peeks out, especially when I am not around. While deciding what to wear one morning, she asks Nathalie, “Mama, can you help me pick out an outfit?” So after 5 minutes, of “What about this one?” or “what about this one?” Julia finally says, “You may go now, I know what I’m going to wear!” Wow, the art of dismissal mastered by an 8 year old. I can’t wait until the teen years!

Driving
I laughed this week, while listening to a teacher at the girl’s school, talk to me about being late for work and not recognizing anything on her drive. I laughed, because I thought I was the only one to use people I see on my commute as an indication of my punctuality. I even talked about it in one of my first blogs and I told her about it. It sure is nice to find out, even if it is a small confirmation, that I am not the only one that things odd thoughts sometimes.

In closing
For the most part, I am what one would call an optimist. My glass is normally half full, I can see the good in people when others struggle and in most cases, I am a happy go lucky individual, all things I feel associated with a healthy dose of optimism. Now I have my moments, and struggle like the best of us do, and over the last couple of weeks, admittedly have had some trouble getting back to the bright side.

After having a conversation with Jordyn’s teacher this week I think I figured out what it is that is getting me better. You see, the teacher was returning after having taken a week off because her father passed away. And when I asked how she was coping and how her kids where coping, she told me “They are the ones making us deal with it and getting us better!” and I thought bingo! She is so right, kids have such a resiliency and a way to deal with things in life by not being marred down by thinking about things the way us adults do. So my homework next week is to pay closer attention and take notes around the kids, and learn from them on crisis management. I think my glass will be full before you know it!

Thanks for reading and have a great and safe week!

Jim