Month: June 2009

The end of one thing, means the beginning of another, the week that was week 8 for the Carr’s

Day Late and a Dollar Short
It’s late. For the first time in 23 weeks, my blog was not posted on a Friday but on a Sunday instead! This week was so busy and with the memorial yesterday for my Aunt Mae, I thought it would be ok to delay the posting so that I may include my thoughts in my recap of the week that was week 8.

Father’s day
The first day of this week was father’s day and I celebrated in the most wonderful way. I was greeted by a couple of girls that have been so excited about the arrival of Father’s day, that they have been hinting what they where getting and doing for me since Easter. Well ok just for the last week or so, but it seems like it has been a while. In fact, if I was smart I would have been keeping track, and I am sure I would be able to have figure it all out before Sunday.

“I love you so at soooo mach, I love you you love me it is a family” to quote one of the 6, homemade cards that the girls poured their love into making for me. The pride in their eyes when taking their time presenting them to me was moving enough but it was the little blue card from Jordyn, written in French that made me feel incredibly lucky to have such great kids. The front said “La fete des peres, #1 Papa” and tucked inside was the five-dollar bill that she was given the day before for just being cute. Jordyn was so happy to share her win fall with me and I think that is a good sign of good things to come.

Home Inspection
On Monday, after a morning trip to the bank to sign all the mortgage paperwork (yes, we found a house!), we had our 3-hour home inspection. I got a very good look at the house and thanks to Sam (www.lighthouseinspections.com ), a sharply focused look at the new place and we are even more pumped than before. Yes, there are some things that will need to be done over the next little bit, but nothing that will jeopardize the deal, so that is a load of our minds. In fact, we where even approved for some home improvement money from our bank, so we also visited Ikea and we designed our NEW kitchen.   Closing date is July 30th – moving day is set for the 15th of August if there are any takers for helping us move… you can send us an email at me@jimcarr.ca or thewife@jimcarr.ca.

Graduation day
As important as September is at marking the start of a new year, this time of the year is equally important, because it marks the end of the school year. The energy and excitement in the sounds of the kids laughing and playing, thinking about the summer fills the air and for most children thoughts about what lies ahead in their academic lives is a distant thought. This year I was able to be part of three ceremonies, each significant in their own way.

On Tuesday I DJ’d my daughters’ school’s grade 8 dance and was able to see many of the kids that I have seen grow over the last 6 years of doing kiss and ride. Especially moving was the grad the girls call Gee, because I have a picture of her and Jordyn on Jordyn’s first day of school as they waited for the bus and they both look so little.

That evening, we had to split up so we could attend graduation ceremonies for two of our nephews. Nathalie made it to Rylan’s graduation from grade 8 with Jordyn and with Julia in tow I made it to Branden’s graduation from high school. Nothing like watching a man whose diapers you changed as a baby, make the transition to post-secondary education to punctuate the passing of time. Congratulations to Rylan for his athlete of the year award!

Finally, on Thursday I was in the platform party on stage for the Spring 2009 School of Communication Arts grads and as I congratulated and listened to speeches I was moved how the messages in all speeches this week held the same theme, the new beginnings message of a life left to live and a future full of promise.

Good bye
On Saturday, with the sun setting in the west and a beautiful breeze coming in over the water, we gather to follow through on a last request. Unplanned, but in the background from a distant CD player, the words my Aunt Mae sang so long ago echo through the trees and around the cottages.

“I’m a going down, down, down to the river, and there ain’t nobody gonna have to hold my hand. I’m a going down, down, down to the river, Gonna bury my troubles in the river bottom sand.”

At the end of the dock, a waiting boat to carry us (me, Dad, Debbie, Lori, Mom and Captain Willy) out just a little bit but far enough to battle the wind. “She always was a free spirit, and now you can be free Shirley.” said Lori and we all smiled as we each took a moment to remember Mae in our own way.  Then I had the honour of standing up and letting her go. Ashes committed to the earth, wind and water – a fitting end to a life that gave so much, to so many.

Earlier in the day a great crowd turned up at the Moose Lodge in Lindsay to pay tribute and celebrate Aunt Mae’s life trough music and stories and even tears. My Aunt Mae loved a good party and I would think she would have been so happy with the great afternoon. Although my twin sister and her family could not be there in person, she sent this message and asked that I read it and I did but I wanted to share it with you.

Hi Jim,
I would really appreciate you reading this for me today. It is a hymn that our choir sang last Sunday in church. I have changed some of the wording/phrasing for Aunt Mae.

I would like you to say that we were really blessed to have her in our life and are heart broken that she is no longer with us. Sad that we will no longer be able to hear her beautiful voice. We Love and Miss her very much…..!

Janey & Earl and Chandler & Colby
xoxoxoxo

Shirley Mae’s Teaching Angels

Her cottage is so empty,
So lonesome since she’s gone’
Cause Shirley Mae’s teaching Angels, how to sing her song,
But we’ll meet her in the morning,

On Heaven’s golden hills,
Cause Shirley Mae’s teaching Angels, Angels how to sing.
Shirley Mae’s teaching Angels in that land so fare,
Heaven’s bells won’t ring aloud, while Shirley Mae’s singing there,
But we’ll meet her on that golden shore and she will greet us there,
Cause Shirley Mae’s teaching Angels, Angels how to sing.

There’s a beautiful voice missing
In our little Community Lodge Jamboree’s,
She sang Making Believe and I Fall to Pieces – just a few of her songs.
But when God heard Shirley Mae Singing,

He knew Heaven was not complete,
Now Shirley Mae’s teaching Angels, Angels how to sing.

Jimmy laid his guitar down
And heavens bells won’t ring
Heaven’s halls are silent when Shirley Mae starts to sing
And it’s sad to know that she won’t return

But we will see her again one great day,
Cause Shirley Mae is teaching Angels, Angels how to sing.

In closing
As the cameras flash and take the pictures at the graduation ceremonies I attended this week, I could not stop thinking that so much of what happened this week marked the beginning and the end of something. Jordyn and Julia at the end of grade 1 and 4 but the beginning of grade 2 and 5, Rylan and Gee at the end of grade 8 but the start of high school, Branden finishing high school but starting of college in the fall and for some at the Seneca commencement, marking the end of their academic aspirations and the beginning of their working lives. The celebration and memorial for Aunt Mae marked the end of her life but the beginning of her next life singing and laughing with those who have gone before her.

So it all comes down to a beginning and an end and I guess that’s the truth about this crazy thing we call life. Life is truly the journey, and I am enjoying my ride.

Have a great week,
Jim

A Story, People, Names and Some Good News for week 7 in the life and times of the Carr’s.

Nice People
This week, with a couple of stories that are sad, I thought I would start with a happy one.

Over the last 3 or 4 years I have worked part-time for my cousin doing data, phone, and cable wiring in my free time. It is fun and I have learned a lot, not only because the work is challenging, but because he is super smart and is always willing to teach me. This week I was doing some work for him and I borrowed his cordless drill because mine is not working. After making a trip to his house to return it the next day, he hands me a new one just like his and says, “Here, I am tired of loaning you mine”. WOW, every once and a while you find people in your life that do something for you that make you feel so good, and this week I thank Michael for going over and above.

A Name
She called me “Darlin”. I know I am probably not the only one, but she made me feel like I was and that made me happy. Born Mary Ella Carr, but her friends called her Mae or Shirley Mae and I called her Aunt Mae. She borrowed the name Shirley from an older sister’s birth certificate, when she needed to be older then she was to play music in the bars in Toronto. A fitting tribute in a way to a sister who had died way too young.

Shirley Mae Carr spent an enormous amount of time playing music and having fun her entire life and did so not only because she loved it but also because so many people loved her doing it. She made her living over the first part of her working life, in bands and traveling from town to town playing everyday for anyone who would listen. She even recorded an album in the late 50’s or early 60’s, packaged as a contest winner from a Toronto radio station. The truth is, because she was popular in the Toronto clubs, the station knew that if they had her name on a record, it would generate sales and it did. One of the tracks even got some airtime, and that lead to some success but not enough to steer her away from the factory supervisor job that she eventually retired from when she turned 65.

It’s hard to sum up one’s life in a few paragraphs and even after reading them, I am sure I have not done her justice but stop me anytime and I will be happy to tell you all about my Aunt Mae. How she could capture a room while she played her guitar, how great her laugh was when you got her going, and how amazing she sounded when she sang but most of all how amazing she sounded when singing with my Dad. For this week we lost Mary Ella, Mae or Aunt Mae or even Shirley Mae, but for my father, he lost his duet partner, his last living sibling and one of his closest friends in the world.

A story
As the children play and splash by the pool, I am on edge and show it by pacing. Perhaps with concern for their safety or in reaction to the movement of water or the high pitch shrills in their laughter. For as long as I can remember I have been like this. I am the same at home, as the doorbell rings or the sound of a distant car door opens and slams, I am sent into protection mode. “Who is that? What is going on? What do they want?” Questions I am always asking, yet you never hear my words. Although, I am unable to speak in sounds you can translate into meaning, I do speak. I do love and I do mean well but I am, at many times misunderstood.

Over the last couple of months, I have noticed that the sounds that at one time would set me off are no longer. The front door opening would not always wake me from sleep. Footsteps, heavy in weight would no longer always focus my attention to the sound they made and noises that once were part of my everyday life are somehow not always there. Now, I am the one misunderstanding. My ears are failing me. Failing me in my 68th year.

Bentley the Super Dog, our 13-year-old Jack Russell, has lost his hearing and no longer comes when you call. I miss the bark of excitement when I enter the room, but what makes me sadder, is I wonder what it is that he will miss. Maybe it is us asking, “Where’s the pink hat?” or “Who wants a treat?” No. I think it is the sound of the girls laughing and playing in the pool that he will miss most of all.

Anniversary
When we mark Nathalie’s brother Nicolas’ birthday every year we are obviously happy for him, but we are also happy for us too. You see in 1989, on June 19 Nick turned 10, and after Nathalie celebrated with her family she hopped into her little silver Sprint and came to the party in Toronto where she met me! We started dating officially the next day, so his birthday marks an anniversary for us and today it is 20 years ago we met. Funny to note that when I first met Nick, he was the same age Jordyn is now.

Guess What?
In a week where we lost Aunt Mae and confirmed that our dog is not able to hear, we do have some good news to share. The search for our first home is over, and pending a home inspection on Monday, we will be proud owners of house in Mississauga around the corner from the girls’ school. Clear your calendars for early August for painting and helping us move because we are calling in all the favours we can!

In closing
Finally, I can’t end without a Julia quote so here it is. On the trip to school this morning, Julia asks Nathalie and I what does the “No Pee sign mean?” Nathalie and I look at each other a little confused, and Nathalie replies, “Not sure Julia, what sign are you looking at?” She points out the window at the side of the road as we are driving and says; “Those ones!” pointing at the no parking signs along the side of the road. There you go No Pee signs. We never looked at it like that before, but she is right! You should not pee at the side of the road.

Thanks for reading and have a great week, and please watch where you pee.
Jim

Moe Digital, Moe Trips and Moe Parties equal Moe fun in week 6
Digital Dilemma
It all started 3 or 4 years ago when we tried convincing my photo junky Mom to come to the dark side of digital and stop using her old camera. It was a long fought battle and in the end she won and stayed with her tried trusted and true, crappy picture quality, film camera. Well until this Christmas that is, when the girls and I finally replaced her then broken camera with a fancy new digital point and shoot.

I always thought that the fun part would be the printing and this week we made the trip to Wal-Mart. All she wanted to do was print a small handful of pictures that she had taken over the last 6 month, so she could hold something in her hand. “Look how simple it is Mom, we pop this little card out, slide it in this hole here and the pictures are right on the screen. Now you press this and this to look at them. And then this little button to print.” Crossing her arms she says “You do it Jimmy (she is the only one allowed to call me this!), you do it, I don’t want to break anything.” After a couple moments of fighting her on it, I jumped in and did all the heavy lifting and just like that we are done. 10 minutes standing in front of the machine, with all the prints she wanted dropped in the little photo shoot, a CD backup of her entire card and all this for just $12.00! She smiled, so I think we may have won her over too technology. Next step an email address!

Field Trips
Being off from my real job for the last 4 weeks, I have some extra hours here and there to volunteer at the girls’ school for things like field trips and this week I was treated to 4 trips on the big yellow school bus. Monday I went to Medieval Times with the grade 4 classes for a live history lesson. For example, did you know, they had plastic glasses with little flashing lights and icy drinks in them for only $10 in the Middle Ages? I was in charge of my daughter and 3 – 10 year old boys and I was just a little scared at that thought early on, but it turned out that they were a good group. I only lost 1 of them for a minute or two in a large group of swarming autograph seekers. Sorry about that buddy!

Today I was with the grade 1 classes learning about animals, outdoors and the delicate eco systems of a pond life, at the Humber College Arboretum. I had another 4 children in my area of responsibility, the team with the blue dots, and for the most part it all went smooth. No one got hurt, no one lost anything and all who left on the bus came back, so I call that a good couple of days.

Get Together
For the second week in a row, we had a school nighttime event to attend and this week it was the Parent Council’s last meeting and year-end thank you dinner. Although, my wife is on the council, I am not but because I help out at all the events and run the Kiss and Ride, they let me crash their party and I am so glad they did. We had fun with the principal, a number of staff and of course the great Parent Council members. Thanks to the Tanabe family for hosting the event and for letting all of the Carrs’ drop in very early to save us the long trip home and back again.

In Closing
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Who has not used this incredibly reliable selection method? This week after a trip to the shoe store to replace the worn and now too small shoes, from what seems like a couple of months ago, the girls select their new footwear. Nathalie is the best shoe shopper I have ever met, and when shopping with the girls for shoes it is always about the choice. They will narrow it down to usually the pair that Nathalie wants them to get and the ones they want. This week was no different! Back and forth with the black ones with the little strap and the ones with sparkles and the small little heal. After much debate of their respective merits, Julia settles on the cute black sandal style shoes with the little buckle and all seems great. All but the size, because the ones she has been trying on and modeling up and down the isle, as if it were a catwalk in Paris are a size too small. No problem, Nathalie grabs the next half size up and heads to the cash. “We don’t need the box, they will put them on in the car” Nathalie says in a “that’s the way the Carrs roll” kind of way and they did. All the way home, and all seemed great in the world.

What a difference a sleep makes. The next morning, with a very tired little Julia that hates the morning, the shoes are not right. “They are too big” and “I can’t run in them, they flip at the back” and so on says a now crying little girl. Devastated at her life and all that once was good. Nathalie tries to calm her, but to no avail! The tears are running now and when Nathalie tells her the truth about the selection, “Julia you had a choice and you picked theses ones”, Julia looks up with tear filled eyes and says, “But the Eeny, meeny, miny, moe didn’t work!” Well isn’t that the truth? Life is sometimes about seeing what you want and making a decision and not leaving it to chance… And that’s the way to roll!

Have a great week.
Jim