Jim Carr

Friends moving, a moving memory and being moved, the week 27 Carr blog is just moving along!

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Moving
I was moved earlier this week by being witness to a tearful goodbye. Then last night, we had to have our own and say goodbye to our friends Thelma and John. Our neighbors for the last 3 months and the ones we called “some of the nicest people we have ever met” have sold their house on the street they have anchored for the last 15 years, loaded up the truck, pointed it east and have left for the home they are building in Quebec. We had the chance to get to know them over the last couple of months and finally had them over for dinner last Sunday for what Thelma called “the last supper”. The one thing that was clear is, we are going to miss them! We wish them well and look forward to staying in touch online, and will look forward to seeing them when they come back to visit in December. When they do come and visit, perhaps we will have taken up the torch and started to become as great of neighbours to those who remain, as they had been for all those years.

Remember

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row

The opening stanza of “In Flanders Fields” means different things to different people and is widely heard and much talked about each year on Remembrance Day. The poem and the feelings it stirs are almost always about remembering those who have fought and died for the rights and freedoms we enjoy today, the same rights and freedoms we sometimes take for granted. However, since 1986 the poem has always meant something different to me.

It was a cold Tuesday morning and I awoke to the sound of a knocking at the door. Two uniformed officers of the Toronto Police service, delivering a message about an accident involving a car and a pedestrian. In our house for the past couple of days, energy and focus had shifted from my grandmother to the health of my Mom’s older sister and her battle with Cancer, so we thought for sure that it had something to do with my Aunt Mary, but it was not. My Grandmother, the one we called Baba, was struck by a car and had died almost instantly earlier that morning while crossing the busy Victoria Park Ave a couple of blocks from our house.

My twin sister and I were 2 years old when, along with my Mom and our older sister moved in with my Baba. We grew up in the house she owned and ran like a fine oiled machine, in the beginning anyway. For years, she supervised the laundry department at the Royal York Hotel in Toronto and Baba treated the house, as it was an extension of her old job. She retired before I was old enough to know she even had a job, so we just thought her work was keeping us kids in line. She would tell us often of her life growing up in Manitoba and how like most homesteads of the time with a large family, that there was no shortage of hard work to do on the farm. Of all the stories she would tell, the one that I remember the most, perhaps because of the image, was the night she spent in the fields with the cows because they did not hear the bell to return to the barn. I can’t remember how old she said she was, but it must have been young and my sister and I would sit in awe and hang on every word when she talked to us.

In my teen years, my memories of Baba were more of frailty then strength. She walked with a cane and was not as active as she once was, giving up or at least slowing down on her favourite pass-time, riding the bus. All the drivers knew her well and often traded the cost of the fair for the company to the end of the line and back. They called her “Mrs. Yardley” and even sent flowers to her funeral. When we were young she would take us on her trips too, and I remember going from our house in East York as far East, West or North as the bus would travel. High Park or the Zoo could easily be reached if you know the transfer points and the routes and she DID and loved to tell you about it.

They say that the people that cross your path and touch your life are the ingredients that make you who you are, and having grown up with Baba, I know she played a key role in making me who I am today. I know she would have loved and spoiled the girls and I know she would have thought the world of Nathalie and would have admired her passion for her family and life. She has been gone now longer then she was alive in my lifetime and I do think of her often but I only wish I could have been smart enough to write down some of the stories she told. I regret terribly, that as a teen I sometimes did not appreciate the relationship I had with her, the life lessons I could have learned and perhaps the extra time I might have spent with my Baba when she was alive.

I miss the treats and trinkets she would find and bring home for me, thinking I could use them for something. I miss the Kool-aid with equal parts sugar and powder, the cheesies and the pleasure she took in watching Lawrence Welk on TV or simply going on a bus ride, but most of all I miss just not having her here to talk to. Baba, thank you for all you gave me and I miss you!

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.

Quick Trip
A couple times of year, we like to cash in on some travel points and a great hotel rewards program and take a little trip and this weekend is number 2 for the year! Last time we made the trek to Niagara Falls, it was the summer and we had the girls but this time, we go it alone sort of-speak (we do have each other after all!). Not sure what is on the must do radar, but I think it will involve a nice dinner, some shopping, a drink or two and great time spent with a loved one. Next week a full recap of all that is printable of course.

In closing
Having girls, we have a pretty strict insect removal policy in the house “by any means necessary”, but the one exception is the lovely ladybug. Those can stay! For the last couple of days, we have a visitor flying around in our house and I like that it reminds me of the summer and I love discovering it, minding its own business just fluttering about in the strangest places. I tell the girls it’s cool having it around and that I don’t think it eats too much, so we can keep it. However, that was before doing the research for this story. You see, I thought the lifespan of a ladybug was a couple of months but it turns out it can be up to a couple of years. We might have to start thinking about names.

Please feel free to submit your suggestions!

Thanks for reading and have a safe week!
Jim

A moon, the time change and making love in the afternoon, life and times of the Carr’s for week 26

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Moon
Well not sure if it was a Harvest Moon, but coming back from dance class with the girls on Thursday night, the moon was as big and low in the sky as I can ever remember seeing and both Nathalie and I thought it was amazing. Incredible shades of orange close enough to touch and the girls thought it was cool, but seemed not to be as impressed as we where. After a little research, it looks like it may be a week late or so to be what Wikipedia describes as a “Harvest Moon” but it sure was neat to see. Occurring just after sunset, the full moon closest to the autumnal equinox is said to be a Harvest or Hunter’s Moon with the sky still bright enough to work the fields or track you’re prey. We were neither harvesting nor hunting, but it sure guided us home to safety and that last little bit of homework for the night and we are thankful for that!

Time Change
Has the time change affected you in anyway yet? We were good, and remembered to change all the clocks (minus 1), and for the most part enjoyed the benefits of an extra hour of sleep. The trade off for a dark walk at night with Bentley is a somewhat bright wake up call for the girls in the morning, and I guess I would rather that over the light at night. Getting the girls seems to be about the same, but we seem to be making it to school on time, and there is a little less stress in the AM so I guess all is good!

Thanks
A quick thank you to my sister Janey for finding the picture I asked her to look for last week with me in my High School Halloween costume – “the sleeping boy”. It looks just like I remembered however I did forget about the stuffed pink elephant!

Housework
I am hoping that if I write it, it will be… It has not worked in the past but lets give it a shot. This weekend, with the somewhat nice forecasted weather on the way, I plan to make some serious progress on the list of things to do with the house. I want to try and get some baseboard down, and work on the kitchen and if time permits, finish sorting out the stuff in the basement still yet to be unpacked from the move. YES that sounds like a big bite, but I think I can make it, if I get a good start in the morning. There will be a brief stop in the action, when I will pack the girls up and drop in at my school for the annual fall open house, but after that I will be right back at it!

In closing

“Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart
You’re shaking my confidence daily
Oh, Cecilia, I’m down on my knees
I’m begging you please to come home”

It is true. I have Hannah Montana on my iPod and because I do, I think it is only fair that the girls have some of my music on their respective iPod’s. I love when I catch them singing away, and this week I had to laugh at Jordyn singing, loud a proud the chorus of a great Simon And Garfunkel track from 1970. I laughed, but I am sure I might change my mood if she ever asks the question “what does making love in the afternoon mean?”

“Umm lets see Jordyn, it is doing something you really like to do in the afternoon… you know like crafts or something”

Thanks for reading, and have a great and safe week especially the afternoons!
Jim

Buddy, Halloween a Quickie and a Tree; newly approved vaccine safe stories from in and around week 25 at the Carr house with very few side effects.

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Buddy
In 1991 life with the Carrs was a little different than it is today. YES, of course that makes sense because although Nathalie and I were together we were not married, but the big reason it was different was there where NO children. Not only did we have no children, but none of our immediate family had children either. That is until the special Halloween arrival of the first of all the cousins. It was a Wednesday morning just after 7:00AM and while most people’s thoughts where either on sleep or getting ready for the seasonal festivities scheduled for later that night I had just arrived home from work to find an unusually empty house. I was living with my sister and her husband Guy in Brampton while going to school at Seneca and normally when I arrived from my over night full time job, the house was a buzz of activity with people getting ready for work. Knowing of Debbie’s impending due date and the note they left me, the only conclusion I could make was IT MUST BE TIME.

Looking for any excuse to be part of the big day, I grabbed Deb’s coat from the stair banister and took off for the hospital, prepared to do my part. I found the parking lot, then the wing and eventually the room and I waited close enough to hear the screams of pain turn to tears of joy. It turned out she did not need her coat, but I am sure glad I brought it to her anyway so I could be part of the day. The nurse told them I was outside, so Guy came out with a smile I will never forget, with tears in his eyes to tell me that I have a nephew and all is well. I got a quick visit, and then I had to go to school but I did so with a smile on my face and a bounce in my step, because I was an uncle for the very first time.

Congratulations to Branden on his 18th birthday and many thanks for leading the way with all of your cousins by setting a good example, working hard and doing it all with a smile and a great sense of humor. We are so proud to call you our little buddy!

Jobs
When possible, we try to get the girls to pitch in and help out with things around the house and usually try to make life type lessons from it. Quite often they get “it”, but perhaps sometime they get it too much! To show value of things, after hearing them argue about a toy or the like, I will quite often point out that mommy or daddy bought it, so it is ours not theirs to argue over. This week, my fuzzy logic came back to haunt me, and Nathalie sure had a good laugh at it. Julia is quite often the first child up and because she is, I always ask her to go and let Bentley outside for his morning visit to the little tree in our yard. The protest is always the same, and this week I made the mistake of using the argument “but he is YOUR dog, Julia”. Walking downstairs she replies, “But you bought him daddy, he is YOUR dog not mine!”

Halloween
When I was in high school, I started a trend of dressing up as an inanimate object for Halloween. OK 2 or 3 times in a row hardly counts for a trend, but still, it was fun and one of my favourite costumes from that era in my life was a bed I had stayed up the whole night making. I covered a large rectangular box, with a couple of bed sheets and attached a pillow with glue and string, and cut a hole in the front for my head to stick out. If you stood just right with your head leaning to one side, I looked like a boy sleeping in a bed and I thought I was too cool for words. The only reason I bring it up is that at some point over the last year, I must have mentioned it to the girls, so Jordyn when asked what she was going to be this year for Halloween replied “a sleepy girl”.

Being the DJ for the annual Halloween dance-a-thon, I was able to get a good look at all the great costumes at school and after talking with my lovely and capable assistant Nathalie, we both decided, prejudices aside, that she had the coolest costume in the whole school this year. My sister Janey is looking for the only picture in existence of me in my bed costume, and if she finds it I hope she will be able to post it to this blog.

note… here is the picture!

Quickie
After getting my hair cut this week, I was thinking about things you would not often hear a 40-year-old guy say at the hairdresser… “Can you please make it a little thinner on top?”

A tree
I love the fall in a picture post card kind of way. Not a big fan of what is to come, weather wise and certainly not after the lack luster summer we had with respect to temperature but I do love the beautiful colours of autumn. Perhaps it is the brightness of the bark, offset with the shades of gold and orange but I think the mighty birch tree is the prettiest of them all at this time of year. We are lucky enough to have no shortage of mature trees on our street and in our neighborhood and they all look nice, but it is the 60-foot birch two doors down from us that I love to look at the most. Thousands of golden leaves, shimmering against the crisp white bark, moving to the unheard rhythm of the whistling wind. I love it, but the best thing about the tree has to be that it is close enough to enjoy everyday, but NOT close enough for me to have to rake any of its fallen leaves.

In Closing
On Sunday night, as a little family time treat, we all watched “The Wizard of Oz”. We thought that the kids had seen it, but they insisted that that hadn’t so we watched what it is truly legendary movie through new eyes and I can tell you that that was sure interesting. We missed the first 10 or 15 minutes of the movie, so that made it, perhaps a little more interesting, not understanding what was going on, but the kids enjoyed it nevertheless. At one point, Nathalie and I almost peed our pants when Dorothy accidentally kills the Wicked Witch of the West, while trying to save her friend Scare Crow. Julia in disbelief says, “Look, she is having a melt down”.

I love that my girls have a good sense of humour… sometimes it drives me nuts, but it almost always makes me laugh too, and that is ok with me.

Have a great and safe week and thanks for reading!
Jim