A Simple Thank You, my Little Knee and Surprise Surprise

A simple thank you, my little knee and surprise surprise, stories from the last couple of weeks from in and around the Carr family.

Thank you
I have spoken in the past how November 11th is a day to remember and pay tribute to those we have lost in wars in the past, but for me, how the 11th is about remembering my Grandmother who passed away on this day in 1986. I remember that day like it was yesterday and one of the images I see often in my flashbacks, is of a group of men in kilts; pipers who had most likely been performing as part of services at the park across the street from the hospital they took my Baba to that morning.

Today, I did not flash on the little room they put us in to make the announcement, or the somber task of identifying her body, but instead of the bright colours woven into the traditional uniforms and the pride on the faces of those men caring their bag pipes, and the others in their full military dress, with medals adorning their chests; all the flowers and pageantry and sights and sounds just feet away from my Baba.

Growing up, to me the ceremony to mark Armistice Day, or Remembrance Day was just something you do, or something you take part in. I have always worn a Poppy, but the truth is, I have not had a family member or for that matter even known someone who had served or fought for Canada. Over the last year, that has changed with becoming close to a military guy that I do some computer work for, and so first thing this morning I sent a simple text to say, “Thank you for your service to our country!” His response, kind of struck me by surprise, he said, “Thanks, no one has ever said that before”. That made me sad.

So please do me a favour, go thank anyone you see wearing a uniform today or any day for that matter. The truth is, I know they do not do what they do for accolades, or acknowledgment, but we should thank them any time we can for what they have done, are doing and what they will continue to do, so we can do what we do. Thank you.

DecalsCarr Family Decal!
Have you seen them? Those little white, stick figure decals on the back of cars announcing to passing vehicles and the world at large, how many people you have in your family. When I first started seeing them a while ago, they where very basic, a Papa, a Mamma and a couple of kids and sometimes a dog, but they are getting a little more complicated. Nathalie and I had a laugh the other day, with a modern take on the traditional window announcement, because the father was in a chair with a remote control in his hand! I love it. The best for me so far though was the one I saw last week, when I passed what looked like a hybrid mini-van with two mother stick figures and one child. We have purchased ours, and just have to put them on, but we have been holding off, because we have yet to find the two little frog sticks.

Knee
I swear, when I was in my teens, I would get dressed in the morning and actually look at my boxers, and think to myself, if I jump I could get both legs in at the same time. The image of me, sprawled out on the floor, face first with nothing to show but a bruised ego, always pops into my head when I hear someone use that old expression, “They put on their pants one leg at a time like the rest of us!”

I haven’t heard that expression over the last couple of weeks, but what made me think of it was brought on by a major pain in my 42-year-old knee when it actually made a noise when trying to get dressed this week. Instead of jumping, now I am just wondering if I could actually hire someone to do the work for me, perhaps from a laying position. My buddy Tim at work calls it a design flaw, in that the knee is just not meant to support either the weight or the constant movement of an average person. Where did I put that warranty card anyway?

While DJ’ing a couple of weeks ago, I watched a server pass me, and in one fell swoop, she bent down pick up something off the ground and like in some ninja movie, she returned to her feet with a twist and never broke so much as a sweat. I said to her, first that I wish I could do that, and that second she should remember that move, because one day it will be only a distant memory. Like the one of me jumping into my pants with both feet at the same time.

In closing
Although, my wife does not like to be scared, as in insects, slimy animals or horror movies, growing up she did spend a fair amount of time scaring others. She comes by it naturally apparently, because everyone in her house growing up did the same. Her dad would wait in the shower for an unsuspecting child to walk in, just for a laugh. When we started living together, Nathalie would lay in wait for me to walk around the corner in the kitchen or the bedroom, so she could grab my arm, and make me pee my pants. I guess it is not the fear she likes, but the laughing after that moment she enjoys the most. The other week, Nathalie came across this website of pictures of people being scared at a haunted house attraction in Niagara Falls, and the mere mention of the funny shots will send Nathalie into a laughing tizzy.

The girls like it too, and Julia has turned into the true “Mini-Me” of her Mom, and thrives on the chase. One weekend morning a couple of weeks ago, Julia was the first up, and thought the best place for her to hang was in the bathroom, tucked neatly behind the door to our bedroom. She was comfortable sitting there with her iPod, knowing that the payoff would be the surprise of one of her parents. Now when Nathalie tells the story, she points out that the extra weight behind the door, combined with her early, a wee bit groggy morning mind already had her thoughts racing to some guy behind the door, when she had troubles opening the door. Imagine her surprise when she turned around to see Julia sitting there, only to hear her say, “Boo!”

Now it’s off to find my very own hiding place!

Thanks for reading and have a great and safe week.
Jim

It’s a Time Warp, Clever Girl, and a Web We Weave

It’s a time warp, clever girl, and a web we weave, the stories from in and around the Carr house for the last weeks of the summer and the first of the fall.

Time
I don’t know why a lyric from the popular Rocky Horror Picture song, “Time Warp” jumped into my head today, other than I suppose I was thinking about getting older and life in general. The line is, “Time is Fleeting”, and although the sentiment is somewhat true and the next line sums up lots about my life, (madness takes its toll), the truth is, if time is fleeting, I think it’s only fleeting with a little f.

This may seem contrary to some of my blog posts in the past, when I have complained about how fast time travels, especially during a vacation or the a hot summer day, but I think life gives us a natural mechanism that helps with perspective, and I never realized it until this week. You know when sometimes the clock will take what seems days to reach 5 o’clock, the kettle will take forever to produce a couple of dribbles of hot water or don’t forget about the pot you are watching that never boils. This yang to the time moving to fast yin, is what gives our life balance.

Case in point, I was thinking just this week, that it seems like forever ago, that I started teaching and that how a simple conversation so long ago, changed my direction in life – the yang. And yesterday morning a pop up reminder of a yearly calendar entry, announcing my God Child’s birthday. It was 18 years ago that Brett was born, and I remember it like yesterday – the yin. Happy Birthday to Brett-Man, and I am so proud, of the strong, confident and smart talented man you have become.

Duck off
When I was in my teens, I will admit I learned how and when to swear. I don’t remember ever getting in trouble for doing so, but I am sure I must have. We used to cleverly reverse the first letters of a two-word statement, as in, “Too mucking Futch” and sometimes get away with inappropriate statements at certain times. I remember hanging out with a good friend and his aunt and uncle having a conversation about that, and his aunt jumping into the conversation, attempting to pull off the reversal, and blowing it in front of us impressionable teens, and us just laughing about it for days.

Jump to an evening a couple of weeks ago, with Nathalie and I sitting on the couch downstairs, and the girls upstairs fighting about something. Having witnessed a number of these types of exchanges up close, both of us, from our comfortable seats watching TV, did nothing to interject. They ALWAYS sort it out themselves. That is until we heard the little one, get increasingly upset, and end with a very loud and clear, “Don’t touch me, just F@#$ OFF!”

Now, never ones to hide our own language around the house, it is clear that we are both somewhat to blame for Julia’s choice in words, but of course, this was the wrong way for a 9 year old to express her displeasure with her sister, so up goes Nathalie. After the top stair announces Mommy’s appearance with a little creak, the scream from Jordyn says it all, “She’s coming!” The next very important parental question has to be, how do you yell at a child that is trying hard to make you laugh? With her head burried under her pillow, and her butt straight up in the air, like an ostrich in the sand she says’, “Please don’t hurt me Mumma!” Well, maybe next time we will discipline.

Itsy Bitsy
Time for another true confession from me; although I am crowned Daddy super spider killer around these parts, the truth is, I only kill the spiders that the girls actually see. I have wished, and shooed and talked many arachnids into leaving on their own accord, without the need to inflict any harm, and have never been caught.

Being the first to awake most mornings, means I am the first in the shower, and one morning the other week, I ran into a little buddy I named Sam, in the shower. I felt giving him a name and an identity would cause him to listen and I pleaded with him to leave the shower before Nathalie found him. I explained that if he were to just scoot around the corner, he would likely remain unseen and therefore keep safe. Other than dropping down an inch or two a couple of times (scaring me a little), and moving around in a little circle, he seemed to not want to heed my warning.

I kind of forgot about Sam, until I was having a talk with Nathalie that night. I asked, how her shower was in the morning. Puzzled, she said, “fine”, then followed it with, “all but the spider that scared the crap of me, but it’s OK I killed him!” I make a shucks face, and she says, “What?” So I say, “I told him to leave and I was so hoping he was going to listen to me”. After the punch I got, I will re-think my approach in the future. RIP Sam.

In closing
We have always been generally positive people around the Carr house. Never had the need to make dally chants or in mirror affirmations, but this week I discovered that at least one of us, has felt the need to make some posters. Some of what is posted, in the way of positive messages, are lyrics from Justin Bieber songs, like, “Never Say Never”, or a simple, “I love my family!” but the statement that first worried me and later warmed my heart, was not from a song or a movie. I am guessing it was inspired by a news report she heard at some point.

Moom's Room
The Writing on the wall

“Never kill yourself just because you think you are not pretty”. I was concerned obviously with the statement at first because it worried me that a 12 year old would even use the words, “kill yourself”. However, in context the fact that she is telling herself, and all who enter her room, that it is not right to allow anyone any power over your feelings, and for that, I have to shed a tear of pride, because my little girl, thinks like an adult.

Off to start my own, I am good enough chant!

Thanks, for reading and have a great and safe week.
Jim

Missing 4 Months, a Signature and a Year of Firsts

Missing 4 months, a signature and a year of firsts, some thoughts and a laugh from in and around the Carr family for another week.

Open
I am happy to say I am feeling more like my normal self. A carefully scrutinized dose of some serious medication, lots of friends’ shoulders and a team of therapists, working around the clock have confirmed my original thought, that I am basically fine and the rest of the world is completely messed up. It has been a few months since I blogged the stories from my little life, and I have forgotten how much I missed it, and how much I get out of it. I write for me, and hope to be read, but in the end if it is only me and the automated spiders at Google that scan the words in the confessions page, I am ok with that too.

One of the reasons I have feared beginning again, was how do I recap the missing 4 months of not writing. And when I mentioned my apprehension to blog reader and great sister, Janey, she gave me the answer I needed to get back at it, “You just do it one sentence at a time Jim”

We had some laughs...
A Trip
4 weeks before May 20th, I had a little conversation with Bentley the super dog, after reading a look in his eyes that reminded my of a line in my favourite poem by Robert Service called “The Cremation of Sam McGee”. In the piece, after a long trek in the cold and snow, the main character – Sam, who hates the weather and is not well, says to his friend and travel companion, “I’ll cash in this trip I guess”. You see Bentley was struggling to make it up the stairs on his own, and the look in his eyes, said it all to me. I am tired, I am in pain, I don’t like this and I am done. I asked him if he was ok, and picked him up, rubbing the back of his neck like I had done so many times before, and he looked away, almost as if to say, please don’t look at me. I knew at that moment for sure, that his 14-year trip with us was drawing to a close.

I tried to sluff off the image, the words, and the whole thought of it, and instead tucked it in my back pocket for a future blog. This blog. The blog that I knew I would write after we had say goodbye to a great dog for the last time on the 20th of May.

Bentley thank you for teaching me the true meaning of unconditional love. Thank you for teaching Nathalie and I, early on in our marriage, not only responsibility, but how to deal with each other, on important issues like destruction of personal property and thank you for always knowing when to bark, when to sit and when to run away, most of the time and most of all, thanks for giving us, someone to run home to.

A Year of Firsts
This has not been the easiest of years for my family or me. One of the themes I have heard of a number of times while making my way through life for the last 365 days, was that for the first year after a loved ones passing, of course it will be difficult, but mostly during significant anniversaries, events or family gatherings. When you mark a date in time, as you have so many times before with that person, it stands to reason that when you have to do that same without that person, your emotions are heightened.

The year of firsts, was full of happy memories, and some sadness and an over all comfortableness over the loss of my Mom. It is not that time has made me forget her, but I think that time has allowed me to appreciate all that she meant to me when she lived even more, and that is a good thing I guess. I don’t hear her voice as much as I did a year ago, but I still can see her smile and when I need to smile myself I close my eyes, and just watch her dance.

In Closing
Somewhere in a box, possibly labeled “old stuff” in my garage, in a large stack of paper is one piece of lined fullscap I know I saved from a life ago. A page that many would look at and immediately think it was a scrap paper with blue or black pen doodle on it, but I kept it because I thought it was a great symbol. Before Nathalie and I got married, when her name was longer, naturally, she had her signature down pat, but she needed to figure out how the “new” name would work in addition to hers, and she must have practiced it a million times. Two dots over the “i” underlines, circles and lines in varying lengths over and under others, all part of an inspiring piece of artwork, the way I look at it.

I remembered that piece of paper this week, after an innocent conversation with Jordyn that ended up making me laugh. She said, “Daddy, when do I get my signature”. Confused, I asked, “What do you mean?” She said, “You know, when do I get to have a signature of my own?” After processing the though of being given your very own signature, I said, “You have a signature now Jordyn, you have a name, so you have a signature. Your signature is something you make. You can have it anytime you want!” She smiled, and said, “Ohh I though like the government would send it to me, and I would have to practice it.”

Off to practice my own signature!

Thanks for reading and have a great and safe week,
Jim