These are the people in your neighbourhood, Life and the March Break, the week 11 Carr blog, brought to you by Rum and Coke on ice.
Neighbour
There are people that breeze in and out of your life, that will have a range of impacts. Some will teach by doing, some will make you laugh and some will make you cry, but the truth is, when you can sit back and look at it objectively, you will see they all help make you who you are. When we lived in our old neighbourhood, our first in the great city of Mississauga, in the 8 years we rented, we only had a short relationship with the people next door, until they moved out. Sure we said hello to most we saw on the street, and would pull a friendly wave, when passing in the car, but getting to know the people in our immediate community just did not happen.
When we finally purchased our home a year and a half ago, not 10 minutes north of that location, we kind of expected the same neighborly experience, and we could not have been further from the truth. In a very short time, we got to know that the people who lived around us cared about the street, the people on it and most importantly us, and there is nothing that makes a house a home faster than having great people around you. I have written about 1 set of friends that unfortunately moved out in a past blog, but this story is about the first person we actually said hello to on our street in the first two days we had the keys, the nice lady that shares our driveway, in the semi right beside us.
Through many spring and summer conversations on her patio, we learned of her family life and how proud she was of her 4 grown kids, and how her not so easy life made her the strong person she was today. Raising 4 little ones, as a single mom, way before the words were part of our common culturally lexicon was her biggest challenge, and one need only have a short conversation with any of her kids, to reveal how great of a job she did. Two of her kids, lived close enough to visit often on weekends, so all of us on the street made it a point to keep our eye out for her during the week.
Sandy would be sitting outside, almost waiting for us to be the first to greet us with a smile that would light up the street, upon our arrival home, and the kids always made it a point to go say hello. In her late 60’s and on a very tight budget, living on her own, it would amaze me that she would always be the first to offer the kids, freezes or other treats. A couple of weeks ago, we learned that she was rushed into the hospital while visiting her daughter, and suddenly this week in a quiet hospital room, with her family around her, she took a couple of last breaths and went peacefully.
The birds and squirrels in the neighborhood will certainly miss her daily feedings, the kids will miss the treats, but most of all I will miss the warm welcome home and the smile that lit up the street.
March break
For the last 5 or 6 years, on March break, the kids take the trip to spend some quality time with Nathalie’s parents in what we affectionately call “Oma Boot Camp”. Now besides, getting spoiled with shopping trips and drop ins at Chuck-E-Cheese or the movie theater, the girls, as well as their cousin Liam get to spend time together laughing and playing, not to mention spending some much needed time away from their parents. This annual event is what I would call a big win, win, because we all know that absence makes the heart grow stronger, and although in the middle of it, I get sucked into loving the incredible silence in and around the house at night, by the end of the 4 days, I miss the girls terribly and can’t wait to see them, and hear all about their adventures.
Each year, I learn two things from the experience and this year I am writing it down for a permanent reminder. The first thing, is that the distance and time away from our kids tells me that I love them beyond belief and I know I should not require time away from them to confirm this, but it is a lesson I still learn. The second thing I learn is that, the time spent alone with Nathalie is so beneficial to our relationship, that I cannot wait until we return the favour, and play host to our future grandchildren for the March Break when we have them. There is CERTANLY no rush, but I am committing right now, that we will for sure take over the tradition.
Life
Life seems to be like that, we need the good with the bad, the up and the down and the in and the out. We need the life and death of things, to continually grow and my friend, in her blog called this the “duality of life”. I love it. The duality of life, because so much of what we do, can be broken down into two. Love / hate, Right / wrong; it is this balance of life that makes us who we are, and if at times when you are down, you need to remember that the up is on the way.
In Closing
Time for another true confession… I am 42, and I have never been drunk. Nothing to brag about I guess, just drinking has never been something that I enjoy. It may have something to do with my controlling demeanor, and the “not wanting to let go”, I don’t know, but up until last night I just never tried to drink enough to have the world spin around me. Last night, a good friend of ours came over for dinner, and she had a very bad couple of days with her car breaking down, so she brought a bottle of wine, and not to feel left out, I started making rum and cokes, and didn’t stop until the bottle was almost gone.
From what I do remember, I did some things, that I am not proud of, including removing articles of clothing, talking smack and of course taking a close up look at our kitchen floor (that part is very fuzzy to me). Nathalie has been quoted saying, “that she got a peek into what I may be like in my 80’s when I loose my mind.” In the theme of two, I can point out a couple of things I have learned from this little adventure. 1) I am the laugh, giggly kind of guy drunk, and 2) I don’t want to do that again.
Thanks for reading and have a great and safe week.
Jim